Author Topic: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds  (Read 5521 times)

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Inufandom

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Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« on: August 23, 2011, 06:34:06 PM »
So yes, boobs. I understand some campaigns involve the Book of Erotic Fantasy among the books open to the players. Mine does not, thank god. However, that didn't stop my players from accomplishing getting a surprise round.

So, in my campaign they are going through the Dead Throne adventure in Sandstorm, and entering into the King's house. They notice the many guards I stationed in the courtyard area. And while I was being serious, two of my players decided to cook up a scheme. The enemy rolled poorly, and so one was able to sneak along the domed ceiling, and then dropped down into the middle of them. She then proceeded to remove her top, and cried "Party!"  And went running through the enemies flashing her boobs. Running out of the room, the character screamed "We're going streaking!" Needless to say, the PCs got a surprise round for sheer stupidity.

My players don't need the damn BoEF to mess with the DM... :sobbing
« Last Edit: August 23, 2011, 08:05:33 PM by Inufandom »
Zhorne: Behold! The Cake of Wishing!
Camille: You know the only wish you can make on it is not to gain weight from it, right?
Zhorne: SILENCE!
Camille: Don't blame me when this plan backfires -_-;

RobbyPants

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2011, 09:29:44 PM »
Just wait for them to come up with creative uses for the Perform skill. :p
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Inufandom

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2011, 12:08:16 AM »
One of my players is a member here. Let's not give them any ideas... 
Zhorne: Behold! The Cake of Wishing!
Camille: You know the only wish you can make on it is not to gain weight from it, right?
Zhorne: SILENCE!
Camille: Don't blame me when this plan backfires -_-;

weenog

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2011, 12:52:50 AM »
Clever players.  Easy way to avoid that kind of thing, though, it's not being a pervert.  I don't mean by this that you should smack your players down for involving sexual or silly (or both) content in the game.  What I mean is that it's very abnormal to be sexually interested in a different species.  (This doesn't work so well with humans as they can and do crossbreed with virtually anything up to and including humans, suggesting that humans are the base species and everything they're interfertile with is a subspecies of human, but I digress.)  So, include some NPCs that aren't perverts, sometimes.  It doesn't matter how pretty nor charismatic the elf or halfling or whatever is, the dwarf or hobgoblin or other incompatible race guard who is a sensible and well-adjusted person will respond anywhere from "meh" to "yuck" to mild, non-incapacitating surprise, and do his job.

Just like you might if you saw a baboon displaying its gigantic ass in your direction.  (Assuming, of course, that you frequent a region in which the mere presence of a baboon isn't a shock on its own.)
"We managed to make an NPC puke an undead monster."
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bhu

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2011, 01:07:41 AM »
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

Inufandom

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2011, 04:32:16 AM »
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

Tottaly going to use that next time... but I'll make it oh so precious.... by having it be an undead that says it lol
Zhorne: Behold! The Cake of Wishing!
Camille: You know the only wish you can make on it is not to gain weight from it, right?
Zhorne: SILENCE!
Camille: Don't blame me when this plan backfires -_-;

AtomicKitKat

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2011, 05:06:52 AM »
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.

Inufandom

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2011, 07:12:55 AM »
That's priceless  :lmao
Zhorne: Behold! The Cake of Wishing!
Camille: You know the only wish you can make on it is not to gain weight from it, right?
Zhorne: SILENCE!
Camille: Don't blame me when this plan backfires -_-;

RobbyPants

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2011, 02:24:49 PM »
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

InnaBinder

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2011, 03:57:09 PM »
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.
:bigeye Did you just advocate for undead buttsecks, Robby?
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RobbyPants

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2011, 05:36:26 PM »
:bigeye Did you just advocate for undead buttsecks, Robby?
Only as an option for alleviating unnecessary pain. It almost sounds altruistic if you think about it like that.  :smirk


Oh. I also advocated reptilian buttsecks.  :twitch
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2011, 07:23:33 PM »
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.

We developed a taste for chilis it is estimated for several reasons:

The majority of populations heavily enjoying spicy foods are in areas of tropical heat.   Chilis make you sweat, keeping you cooler in such climes.  Also since food preservation s difficult, and your meat may be a little iffy, they come in handy as they have mild antibacterial properties.

Plus bad guy just needs a condom or a strapon.  Problem solved for pitcher.

InnaBinder

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2011, 08:01:16 PM »
Brilliant Gameologists: The only place where you can find out how to optimize hot-pepper buttsecks.   :lmao
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

SneeR

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #13 on: August 25, 2011, 08:32:11 AM »
I once played a character who was selfish in every way. She escaped from the middle of a cult where her friends were trapped with the heavy implication that she would perform sexual favors for them later, as a fellow cultists, of course...
Man, I love Bluff.
The answer to everything:
[spoiler][/spoiler]
SneeR
[spoiler]
I don't know if the designers meant you to take Skill Focus for every feat.
Sounds a little OP.

The monk is clearly the best class, no need to optimize here. What you are doing is overkill.

It's like people who have no idea what a turn signal is. They ruin it for everyone else.
When another driver brandishes a holy symbol and begins glowing with divine light, seek cover or get spattered with zombie brains. I do not see what is so complicated about this.
[/spoiler]

AriasDerros

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #14 on: August 25, 2011, 09:11:02 AM »
Hmmm... If humans have to worry about spice, but birds don't, then where do raptorians fall?

Also, I agree with weenog, as in my campaign a character (who was a doppleganger) tried to bluff his way past a guard by telling the guard that there was a bunch of prostitutes at the main guard post. His bluff worked, but the guard wasn't going to risk losing his job, or his wife, for that. Player is having to learn that just because you can make them believe the lie, doesn't mean they care.

However, I think the point was the undead were stunned by the randomness and stupidity of it, and not because of college-boy staring. Just to clarify that the baboon thing is not equivocal, the baboon doesn't fall from the ceiling and scream stuff in english.

Also, if you had wanted to, instead of having the undead be gawking at the stupidity, or start looking for hot-sauce for lube, have them do the gnoll/troll thing. ie. want to eat the human.

....and given the gender involved, I don't mean to eat her in the good way.

zugschef

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #15 on: August 25, 2011, 12:12:32 PM »
The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.

RobbyPants

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2011, 02:19:21 PM »
Hmmm... If humans have to worry about spice, but birds don't, then where do raptorians fall?
I'm not sure. The highly scientific Cracked article that I got my information from didn't go into raptorians. It's just lazy of them, really.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

AriasDerros

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2011, 02:58:20 PM »
The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.

absolute, unadulterated win. :clap

bhu

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2011, 08:09:53 PM »
I havent had the last 3 peppers on that cracked list...I has a new mission!

zugschef

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Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2011, 06:57:55 AM »
The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.
absolute, unadulterated win. :clap
thanks. i just love that story. :)