There's something I designed a while ago after discovering the Nodwick webcomic. It is by no means meant to be serious, useful, or, for that matter, playable, but I just thought "hey, let's make something out of this little guy". Hence I proudly present:
The Henchman
Revision 1
Some people are born for a great destiny. Some are heroes. Some are legendary warriors, battling demons and dragons toe-to-toe, others master arcane energies beyond the grasp of many mortals, others act as incarnations of a deity, others are masters of stealth, skill and silent killing. All gather fame and fortune beyond imagination, amassing piles of gold and rare artifacts. And who's going to carry the whole crap around, hmmm? Surely not Mr. Kiss-My-Shiny-A...rmor Paladin or Miss I-Can-Bend-Reality-With-A-Thought-But-My-Nail-Polish-Isn't-Dry Sorceress. For all the carrying, cleaning armors, sweeping floors, and the like, there's a single person, a reliable one, without whom the heroes wouldn't get their shoelaces tied together: the Henchman.
Race: Henchmen can be from any race, though nosy elves rarely admit they have some.
Alignment: Any non-Chaotic. Henchmen lose their purpose in life if they don't have a tiny spark of organization somewhere.
Starting age and gold: as Commoner.
Hit Die: d6
Base attack bonus: as Wizard
Saving throws: no good saving throws
Class skills: Appraise, Balance, Climb, Craft, Escape artist, Gather Information, Handle animal, Hide, Knowledge: Dungeoneering, Move silently, Profession, Search, Survival, and Use Rope
Skill points per level: 4+Int modifier
Class abilities:
1 - Hauling, Do It Yourself
2 - Harmless Look
3 - Common Sense
4 - Make Yourself Useful
5 - Chest of Holding I
6 - That Tastes Great
7 - Hard to Kill 1/week
8 - Compact Packing, Make Yourself Useful
9 - Comprehend Orders
10 - Chest of Holding II
11 - Hide in Plain Load
12 - Tight Packing, Make Yourself Useful
13 - Hard to Kill 3/week
14 - Curiosity Killed the Cat
15 - Chest of Holding III
16 - Reliable Old Chap, Make Yourself Useful
17 - Perfect Packing
18 - Package Burst
19 - Hard to Kill 1/day
20 - Chest of holding IV, Make Yourself More Useful Than That
Weapon and armor proficiencies: Henchmen are proficient with light and one-handed simple melee weapons, as well as with light armors. They are not proficient with shields.
Hauling (Ex): A 1st-level henchman could carry stuff around before he could walk, and becomes better with time. Henchmen add their Class Level to their Strength score for purpose of determining their carrying capacity.
Do It Yourself (Ex): Being useful means being approximately well-treated. Henchmen can use the Profession skill untrained.
Harmless Look (Su): Some henchmen survive long enough to make it to second level. Those elite individuals do so only by completely failing to be noticed from their enemies. An opponent will never attack directly a henchman of second level or higher if there is another suitable target within her (the opponent's) double movement reach. If only henchmen are available, the lowest-level ones are attacked first. If the henchman performs any sort of agressive action, the effect is negated for the rest of the encounter.
Common Sense (Ex): Some adventurers have spells, or powerful attacks, or mysterious abilities to help them on their quests. Henchmen don't, so they use the one part of the brain heroes generally have no use for: sound common sense. Starting at 3rd level, Henchmen gain a bonus equal to one-third their Class level (round down) on all skill checks, provided they have at least 1 rank in the skill and the skill can be used untrained.
Make Yourself Useful (varies): At 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, and 16th level, if they survive, Henchmen receive a token of interest from their companions. They may acquire an Extraordinary or Supernatural class feature from any class (other than Henchman) as if they were 3 levels lower in this class. They may not choose to acquire Spell-like abilities, Spellcasting, Incarnum, Truenaming or Manifesting using this class feature. They must spend at least one full day with a character able to use the ability they wish to learn, and the character must have used the ability at least once.
Chest of Holding (Ex): At 5th level, a wooden chest appears near the henchman and never leaves him again. The chest cannot be destroyed in any way. The chest always appears to be one size category smaller than the Henchman and can contain as much as a Bag of Holding I. To anyone but a henchman of at least the same level, it weighs its normal weight (5 lbs for a Small chest) plus the weight of its content. To its owner, its weighs 5 lbs, regardless of its content.
The chest can be thrown as a ranged weapon with a range increment of 5'. It deals 1d6 Bludgeoning damage for each 40 lbs of weight and is treated as if having the Returning property.
The Chest's capacity increases to match the one of a higher-category Bag of Holding at levels 10, 15 and 20.
That Tastes Great (Su): Love goes through the stomach, and Hencmen that make it up to 6th level learn to make themselves appreciated by cooking excellent and revigorating meals. The Henchman can spend 1 hour preparing a meal that restores Hit Points to each living creature eating it, using up ingredients worth the Hit Points healed per serving (max. of the Henchman's class level) x the number of servings in gp. The Henchman can collect the ingredients himself by spending an hour and succeeding on a Survival check (DC equal to the value of the meal). The check may be splitted to reduce the DC, but increases the duration accordingly. Environment doesn't matter, henchmen could cook a meal out of rocks and dust and it would still taste great.
Hard to Kill (Su): Sometimes you know this is going to be a bad day. Sometimes you somehow make it. Starting at 7th level, Henchmen can escape death by sheer luck or divine intervention (and don't you ask which divinity). Once per week, a dead Henchman can be targeted by an effect similar to a True Resurrection spell (with the same limitations), but only if he died from a natural hazard, a trap, killed directly or indirectly by his companions, or abandoned by his companions in front of an opponent with more Hit Dice than the henchman has. The Henchman reappears instantly, slightly dazed, at a random but more or less sure location within one mile of the point of his death.
At 13th level, this ability triggers thrice per week, and at 19th level, once per day.
Compact Packing (Ex): Hauling the load is more than a job to a 8th-level Henchman, it is an art and a way of living. The Henchman can pack his stuff ith ease, making it easier to carry, as well as making it dangerous for anyone but a highly trained Henchman to touch it. By spending 10 minutes each morning preparing his packing, the Henchman negates the speed and armor class penalty for Medium load. Furthermore, any creature with less Henchman levels than the packer trying to retrieve an item from the packing causes it to collapse on himself and suffers 1d4 points of bludgeoning damage each round for each 100 lbs of load. Such a creature can escape by succeeding on a Grapple check as a full-round action against the load, which is considered the same size as the packer for a Light load, one size bigger for a Medium load, two sizes bigger for a Heavy Load, has a virtual Base Attack Bonus equal to the packer's henchman level, and a virtual Strength score of 4, +1 per 100 lbs of load. If the package weighs less than 100 lbs, the trapped creature suffers no damage and escapes automatically as a full-round action.
Comprehend Orders (Su): Adaptability means survivability. At 9th level, a Henchman understands orders (but not any other form of spoken communication) from any language, as if under the effect of a Comprehend Languages spell.
Hide in Plain Load (Ex): Becoming one with his load, an 11th level Henchman can drop his load on any adjacent square as a Move action, or pick it up with another Move Action. Neither actions provoke Attacks of Opportunity. The load occupies the same space as the Henchman and can only be dropped in an unoccupied area. The load is an obstacle that provides Cover for each creature for which it would be a Medium load, and Total cover for creatures for which it would be a Heavy Load.
Tight Packing (Ex): At 12th level, a Henchman may retrieve any item from a load prepared with Compact Packing as a Free Action.
Curiosity Killed the Cat (Ex): Starting at 14th level, the Henchman can drop his package and prepared him with 10 minutes work to make it look attractive and interesting, letting a gold coin drop, or a sword show out... Any sighted creature with an Intelligence score of 3 or more passing within 30' of the packing must succeed on a Will save (DC = 10 + half Henchman class level + Henchman's Intelligence modifier) or try and ertrieve an item out of it, causing it to collapse as per Compact Packing unless the cerature has at least as much Henchman class levels as the packer.
Reliable Old Chap (Ex): Having carried their load for years now and probably died a few times by their hand, the henchman knows how to influence his companions. He gains an Insight bonus equal to half his Class Level on Diplomacy, Bluff and Sense Motive checks against his allies.
Perfect Packing (Ex): Having fully mastered his trade, a 17th level Henchman can prepare a Compact Packing as a full-round action, and ignores the penalty from Heavy Load.
Package burst (Ex): As a Full-Round action that provokes Attacks of Opportunity, a 18th level Henchman can spill the contens of his package to damage opponents. The load bursts in a 60' Cone and deals 1d4 points of damage for every 100 lbs (Reflex halves, DC = 10 + half Henchman level + Henchman's Strength modifier). This damage is of the same type than the items present in the load. If the load contains a weapon with the ability to damage incorporeal creatures, the damage acffects incorporeal creatures as well.
Make Yourself More Useful (varies): A 20th level Henchman knows the secret of true acceptance. He can now choose to gain an ability from any class as if they were the same level in this class (with otherwise the same limitations as the Make Yourself Useful ability), or gain any spell of 9th level or less as a Spell-Like ability usable 2/day. The spell may not have XP cost or require a material component or a focus other than a Holy Symbol.
Ex-Henchmen: A Henchman wo becomes Chaotic loses all class abilities except his weapon and armor proficiencies and cannot gain further levels as Henchman. He regains the class features and the ability to gain levels as soon as his alignment becomes non-Chaotic.
Enjoy!
Revision 1 - 07/22/2008: fixed damage from packing, reworded Make Yourself Useful.
