The out of towners entered the bar, one a tall man decked out in armor and weapons, one a shifty little short fellow - very short, in fact, one who had way too many sun symbols on his armor, some of which in wholly inappropriate places and one dressed in brightly colored robes, aptly embroidered with the title "Kaboom."
The assorted drunks, wenches, and other miscreants turned to them before returning to their business. The group found themselves a table, ordered some food and drink and talked among themselves a while before their spokesperson - the walking arsenal approached the barkeep and inquired about any work they might have in this town.
Now the barkeep, like most of his kind was a Fighter, one that had retired once he realized his choice of career was the D&D equivalent of choosing to major in Philosophy so as to not fetter his companions with his continued dead weight. Nonetheless, he had learned a few very important skills in his career - how to stab things, how to stab things hard but less accurately, how to stab things harder, how to stab things more accurately, how to be quicker about stabbing things... and how to size enemies up, as there are many things that could care less about stabbing. The barkeep applied this same talent to the man standing before him. He considered the question a moment.
He then said, "Well, I got a nice rat problem in my cellar..."
The mobile weapon rack was flabbergasted. "You want me to clear RATS from your CELLAR?"
"Well, it is work we need doing." he remarked, deadpan.
But the heavily armed man was having none of it. "How about real adventure?"
The barkeep scoffed. "Real adventure?" he asked incredulously. "You want real adventure?"
The adventurer's fellows had by now started to glance over to see what all the fuss was about, as their leader nodded eagerly.
The barkeep climbed up onto his bar, looking a bit foolish, moreso since he had put on some weight in his retirement. He pointed dramatically down at the other man and declared loudly, "You can't handle real adventure!"
D&D is a highly meritocratic world. Put simply, those who lack the power to keep their power will lose it, and be replaced by someone that can maintain their position. And there will always be tests of power, measures of ability, checkpoints that you are unable to pass if you are not at least a certain height capability wise, a trait that is independent of physical height.
So what's this mean for you?
Well one of two things. The first is that everyone goes off into the world, the strong survive, and the rest get slaughtered for the betterment of those around them. The second is that the capable characters get all the epic, the awesome, the INTERESTING adventures. The Short Bus Hobos get charged with dealing with being lackeys, and of course dealing with rat infestations.
Now initially I assumed the first instance would be the case. A number of people however insisted it should be the second, as if that actually helped. After some reflection, I decided the second was more amusing, and better reflects what happens in actual play. This thread is meant to illustrate what happens in the latter instance.
Now obviously, being a Short Bus Hobo (henceforth referred to as SBH) is undesirable. After all you want to go on the good adventures, and actually do stuff that matters without getting slaughtered right? Well SBHs only have two choices - get slaughtered over and over and over again, or only go on Fail adventures. Those guys the Bards are singing about, and sleeping with? Yeah, they've gone beyond Amateur hour at the local Hobo bar. They're actually competent. And people know it. So they get all the Epic and Awesome adventures, and they succeed at those adventures and come back, and people form lines to suck their cocks (or eat them out, for the females in the fine business of Killing Things and Taking Their Stuff). It's good to be famous. And even if they don't succeed, the stories of their last adventure are still sufficiently awesome, because their enemies are awesome too. And there's no shame in being beaten by other competents.
So you see, it's good to make characters who actually know what the fuck they are doing not only for all the obvious reasons like not wanting to get slaughtered, and because people don't sign up for deadly jobs if they don't have a fucking clue but also because the alternative to getting slaughtered over and over and over again is being a SBH, who gets treated as if they would get slaughtered over and over and over again if they actually did anything interesting. And people play games to do awesome things, not to fail at life.
So how do you avoid being a SBH? This is both simple and difficult - you make sure you can do your fucking job, and you IP proof so you can keep doing it. Sounds simple, but the particulars can be difficult to do. I'm not going to go into the details. It's a CO board, use your search bar. You also want to make sure your job doesn't leave you open to being a CAP victim, like the bartender in that story. But that's it really. Simple to describe, simple or difficult to do.
Now how do you tell if you are a SBH?
Answer the following questions:
Can you handle encounters of a level greater than the current party level? If yes, can you handle them as frequently as the game expects (a full 40% of the time, which means literally every single day, often more than once)? If the answer is no to either of these questions, you are a SBH.
How frequently do you encounter enemies of a lower level than the party? If the answer is anything other than very rare or never, you are a SBH. Particularly if such are common.
Do you struggle to defeat routine encounters? If so, you are a Short Bus Hobo. Contact your Build Doctor right away.
In closing, it is important to separate differences in ability from differences in opportunity. In other words, if your party could handle the encounters expected of them, but instead gets easier encounters because the DM is coddling them, then that means that the DM is coddling them, but does not mean they are SBHs. It is only when characters are presented with Tests of Competence that they Fail, or that they know they would fail if such ToCs were presented to them that they are SBHs, and turned into Driders Rat Hunters. DM coddling is an entirely different problem, though it often does accompany groups of SBHs it is not the same thing.