Two more of Kuro's improbable tales, which happened over the weekend, plus this morning.
Chapter ??: The case of the Satanized Hobo.
I was walking to the home of a friend of mine, who was throwing a reception party (he was graduating). On the way I get stopped by a hobo. Dude stank so badly that "high heaven" doesn't do it justice. Mostly booze and pot. "Hey dude, give me some change so I can buy food." "I ain't got any to give you." "Wasn't asking." So he pulls a switchblade on me.
Cue eyeroll.
"Look, I really don't have time for this shit. I'm late for my thing already." "The hell kind of thing do you have going at midnight?"
"Satanic ritual." /deadpan.
"?!?"
"Yeah, we're going to eat the heart of a hobo to obtain eternal life. That reminds me, I'm in charge of getting the hobo..." *cracks neck and knuckles* "I think you'll do."
Cue hobo running in terror and screaming something to the effect of "Get away! Evil skull! Demon!"
Chapter ??+1: Return of the S10 thief.
I was on the way home from the local bus station this morning after I worked out (I had to buy a bus ticket for one of my cousins who would be going back home, we decided to buy the ticket in advance), when I start getting this feeling that I'm being followed. Eventually, I stop by this dumpster and turn around. There's this gaggle of punks, maybe six or so. But I get this weird feeling that I recognize one of them.
"Can I help you, gentlemen?"
"We want your cell phone, your money, your shoes..."
"As the Rolling Stones used to sing, You Can't Always Get What You Want. By the way, I think I recognize that little pudge over there."
I point to the guy. Sure enough, it was the punk I had stopped when I was run over by that S10.
"Small world, huh?"
The guy starts sweating bullets, while the others turn to mock him. Meanwhile, I peer into the dumpster and I see this broom stick poking out. I grab it and spin it around a little.
"Glad you guys could have a laugh. Bye bye."
"Hold on, you ain't given us anything yet."
"And I don't plan to."
"Shake him."
Cue me falling back on my old kenjutsu days to force them to regret it. The Pudge, however, hadn't even moved.
"Better call an ambulance. I think this shit's infected with something."
And I walk.