Carmendine Monk is perhaps less integral than you might think - it's int-to-AC only applies when in NO armour. With an int of 18, that's a chain shirt's worth of AC, so it's mostly pointless. Unless you want it for the stunning fist DC, but that probably isn't worth a feat.
I don't have my books, so I have no idea what Dread Fang of Lolth does, never heard of it.
Panther Totem is homebrew, but if your DM is cool with it then it's fine. However the Spirit Lion totem (from complete champion) can be mixed with normal totems, grants Pounce at level 1, and is just generally awesome and broken.
Swashbuckler is just a nice way to fill up 3 spare levels. At higher levels you shouldn't probably be taking it (instead something like runescarred berserker or gish-type stuff, or something to keep you off the magical radar, essentially a way of staying relevant at those magic-dominated levels), and at lower levels you should definitely not be sacrificing anything like swordsage to get it. The reason to take a level of swordsage early is that Shadow Blade is just nice and waiting til 9 to have it (not to mention the sneak-attack-getting Island of Blades and Sapphire Nightmare Strike) is a bit painful if your game begins at low levels.