Author Topic: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods  (Read 131393 times)

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konner09

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #640 on: August 27, 2011, 03:16:12 AM »
"FOOOCKIN polotics" Joseph yells "I wan't to bunch something in the face" :shakefist
"That would be quite an acomplishment, seeing as you don't have fists. Now I on the other hand..."  ;)
"well aren't you mister thinkie" Joseph says "everybody shut up for a second i can barely see"
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

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Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #641 on: August 27, 2011, 04:12:56 AM »
Zach maneuvers himself into a corner of the office, arms crossed. To the squirrels, he whispers, "I haven't managed to procure a keep during my short time here, though I do believe we should have lodgings soon enough. Stick around, hide around me, try and keep quiet. The man who ordered us here is the people's appointed hero, and holds sway aside from a mean amount of personal strength. I need to hear what he has to say first. His choices determine our next move, and thus what I'll need you for."

Sir Shadow

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #642 on: August 27, 2011, 07:36:51 PM »
Bartholomeow seems quite agitated and paces the room, "Damnit! Stuck in some room like a naughty child when we should be heralded as heroes! Bards should be arranging songs lauding our defeat of the treacherous mages guild! Where is my reward?! Where is my fatted calf?!

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #643 on: August 27, 2011, 09:30:51 PM »
Bartholomeow seems quite agitated and paces the room, "Damnit! Stuck in some room like a naughty child when we should be heralded as heroes! Bards should be arranging songs lauding our defeat of the treacherous mages guild! Where is my reward?! Where is my fatted calf?!

Truffles pops up and hugs you.

"oink"

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #644 on: August 27, 2011, 09:33:14 PM »
Zach maneuvers himself into a corner of the office, arms crossed. To the squirrels, he whispers, "I haven't managed to procure a keep during my short time here, though I do believe we should have lodgings soon enough. Stick around, hide around me, try and keep quiet. The man who ordered us here is the people's appointed hero, and holds sway aside from a mean amount of personal strength. I need to hear what he has to say first. His choices determine our next move, and thus what I'll need you for."

"Should we hide in your armor till this is over?  Think of us as a furry weapons of vengeance if it helps."
« Last Edit: August 27, 2011, 09:40:10 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #645 on: August 27, 2011, 09:39:48 PM »
After a few hours of waiting the Sheriff walks in and sits down wearily.  He calls for a page and a young furry humanoid pops in and salutes him "Clubby the Seal, reporting for duty sir!"

"Clubby we need some tea and food.  I'm sure our guests are hungry."

"Yessir."

He pops back out and comes back with some nice green tea and Muffaleta sandwiches with grilled onions.

"Sorry sir, it's all I could find on the quick."

"This will be more than enough.  Stand guard whilst I..chat with these nice people."

*Glee* "Yessir!"

It occurs to you Clubby probably couldn't take on a pony let alone anyone of sufficient training.

"Alright, tell me everything that's happened since you left here.  Spare no details."

jojolagger

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #646 on: August 27, 2011, 10:07:33 PM »
Ceusharath beings to transmit his entire memory of events since leaving the city to the Sheriff.
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In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #647 on: August 28, 2011, 03:36:21 AM »
To the squirrels, he whispered, "Yes indeed. Best keep you in the folds of the haori. There are pockets in the sleeves of this kind of coat is well."

He starts speaking only after seeing Ceusharath react move, staying silent while he can see the concentration in his eyes.

Monotremeancer

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #648 on: August 28, 2011, 03:18:20 PM »
Bill stays in the corner, trying to stay away from this as there is already far too much politics involved in this than he is comfortable with.
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Nanshork

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #649 on: August 29, 2011, 12:48:10 AM »
Kintal loudly says, "Hey squirrels, this cat wants to talk to you."

Purr
[spoiler]
"I'm not sure, let me consult myself for a moment."
[/spoiler]

OOC
[spoiler]
Is it something that can be taught?
[/spoiler]
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bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #650 on: August 29, 2011, 03:32:31 AM »
Kintal loudly says, "Hey squirrels, this cat wants to talk to you."

Purr
[spoiler]
"I'm not sure, let me consult myself for a moment."
[/spoiler]

OOC
[spoiler]
Is it something that can be taught?
[/spoiler]

[spoiler]It can be taught in the sense that any class ability can be taught,  Once they have a level in CB hey have Purr.[/spoiler]

RobbyPants

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #651 on: August 29, 2011, 11:27:13 AM »
Bartholomeow seems quite agitated and paces the room, "Damnit! Stuck in some room like a naughty child when we should be heralded as heroes! Bards should be arranging songs lauding our defeat of the treacherous mages guild! Where is my reward?! Where is my fatted calf?!
"This isn't the first time a performance of mine went unappreciated. Hell, I've ended up jailed before when poorly received."
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Nanshork

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #652 on: August 29, 2011, 06:20:49 PM »
Purr
[spoiler]
"If some of the guild truly is interested in this, I can teach them.  They will have to form their own pacts with their inner demons however, and there will be a danger of the inner demon taking control and wreaking havoc.  Demons are the essence of evil after all."
[/spoiler]
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bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #653 on: August 29, 2011, 11:46:43 PM »
Sherrif: "You made a deal...with a Gawd...Please don't take this as being insulting because it's truly not meant in such a fashion, but do you know how monumentally fucking stupid that can be?"

jojolagger

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #654 on: August 30, 2011, 12:57:17 AM »
We're trapped in a realm disconnected for all others and ruled by a trickster god of questionable sanity. I honestly doubt we made our overall situation noticeably worse.
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When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
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Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

VennDygrem

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #655 on: August 30, 2011, 01:01:41 AM »
"Besides, we saw what he did to the kid. If you had been there, you wouldn't want to spit in his face either."

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #656 on: August 30, 2011, 03:19:05 AM »
"Besides, we saw what he did to the kid. If you had been there, you wouldn't want to spit in his face either."

"True enough.  Well most of the Dean's bunch is dead, so I doubt we'll need you as witnesses for any sort of trial.  I'd beware of his zombies though, some escaped.  You've pissed off some of the mages we can't account for yet, and possibly any allies they had.  They won't come after you immediately but I'd prepare for the future.  The Council is a little pissed you turned loose a Gawd on the city, and we're having a helluva time calming the local priests, and some of you may be asked to make an appearance on the Street of the Gawds.  Probably because their noses are hurting them.  The people think you're heroes for putting down the Mage's Guild they never liked anyway, so we're openly making you a full fledged Adventurer's Guild to keep them happy.  You now have the double edged sword of being popular, and therefore considered infallible.  By which I mean the masses will hang you the second you fuck up.  On anything.  You will also be rewarded enough money to fund yourselves a base of sorts.  My advice to you would be keep it in the wilder, more poor neighborhoods where you are popular now.  It puts you close to retired Adventurer's you can rely on for help, and the locals will be an early warning net you couldn't pay for otherwise.  That being said you'll need to appear before the Council, the Street of the Gawds, and fill out a small mountain of paperwork.  Also we need to work on possibly getting your ... friends citizenship."

At this point there is a knock on the door.

"Come in"  it's CLubby

"Sir, there's an angry bar owner who wishes to see you about damages to his establishment form the Gawd."

"He can return tomorrow, I'm busy.  Better yet tell him to talk to one of the Deputies."

from outside: "Fuck that shit, he'll see me now!"

Clubby whirls while extending a club hidden in his sleeve and viciously kneecaps a 345 pound man entering the room before slowly and with great effort dragging him back outside.

"That kid has talent.  Okay, we need to decide on who takes what position in your Guild.  You'll need a leader, a medic, someone to handle finances, someone to be a liaison with my office, someone to handle and track your weapons etc.  Then we fill out mounds of papers, and it'll be celebration time."
« Last Edit: August 30, 2011, 03:20:41 AM by bhu »

jojolagger

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #657 on: August 30, 2011, 03:49:58 AM »
I can act as Liaison to your office and Communications Guy. Thinks Ceusharath, knowing this will be far from the last time we meet the Sheriff.

Then the Psicrystal in Cusic possession transmits a message, As Lord Zandak Marhana Iriestina Torgar Grahorn Fruben Milltall the Third, King of Gems, it is only right I act as treasurer.

 :twitch
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
:lovefirefox
Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #658 on: August 30, 2011, 06:02:52 AM »
"I am a trained soldier; I can oversee the weapons as easily as I could the group that wields them." Zach's voice sounded humble, but, more subtly, humbled. He offered to take a leadership position, but instead of claiming it, had left it to the decision of the group.

Littha

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #659 on: August 30, 2011, 06:16:29 AM »
Cusic freaks out a little after her sparkly rock starts to speak...