Author Topic: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods  (Read 131395 times)

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Sir Shadow

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #460 on: July 24, 2011, 06:22:23 PM »
Bartholomeow loses his will save to resist face-palming as the squirrel automaton bounds up to the group.

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #461 on: July 24, 2011, 06:29:01 PM »
Bartholomeow loses his will save to resist face-palming as the squirrel automaton bounds up to the group.
Lil' Truffles is apparently shocked beyond the need for facial expression.

jojolagger

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #462 on: July 24, 2011, 07:32:33 PM »
Thinking fast, Ceusharath broadcasts to everyone but the Squirrel(s?) in the suit, "Relax, I have an idea."

Then only to the potential minion, "Cleaning up after sacrificial murders? Wow, your old bosses must have been terrible. I was thinking more help carry whatever loot we find, fetching some booze, and maybe help keep an eye on the less intelligent of the group."

He than removes his ring of disguise, hand's it to the squirrel golem, and sends "Put it on. I know how to catch fakes, and this sould help remove some of the "tells" you missed."
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In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

Nanshork

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #463 on: July 25, 2011, 12:55:30 AM »
Kintal just shakes his head.  "I'm a cat, I travel with everyone just fine.  You don't need that thing, just stick with Bill and nobody will give you a second look.  Say you're his companion animal or something." He looks menacingly towards Bill and asks, "You don't have a problem with that do you?"
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bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #464 on: July 25, 2011, 03:17:55 AM »
Thinking fast, Ceusharath broadcasts to everyone but the Squirrel(s?) in the suit, "Relax, I have an idea."

Then only to the potential minion, "Cleaning up after sacrificial murders? Wow, your old bosses must have been terrible. I was thinking more help carry whatever loot we find, fetching some booze, and maybe help keep an eye on the less intelligent of the group."

He than removes his ring of disguise, hand's it to the squirrel golem, and sends "Put it on. I know how to catch fakes, and this sould help remove some of the "tells" you missed."

"Is it a good idea to call out their questionable faculties with them standing here?"

Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #465 on: July 25, 2011, 03:54:23 AM »
"Is it a good idea to call out their questionable faculties with them standing here?"
Ignoring the impulse to chuckle at the thought of muscle being necessary for strength, Zach instead chooses to attend to the group momentum. "We're not necessarily known for good ideas. What was the plan with the medusa, and are we executing that before returning?"

Monotremeancer

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #466 on: July 25, 2011, 08:34:41 AM »
"You don't have a problem with that do you?"
None whatsoever. This is quite an amazing creation, I must say. Bill walks up to the ... "thing" is the best word he can think of and taps it slightly.
Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?

RobbyPants

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #467 on: July 25, 2011, 09:52:43 AM »
"We're not necessarily known for good ideas. What was the plan with the medusa, and are we executing that before returning?"
Half listening, Mustave's head pops up. "Wait. We're killing her now? I kinda liked her."
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Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #468 on: July 25, 2011, 07:22:59 PM »
"Is it a good idea to call out their questionable faculties with them standing here?"
Ignoring the impulse to chuckle at the thought of muscle being necessary for strength, Zach instead chooses to attend to the group momentum. "We're not necessarily known for good ideas. What was the plan with the medusa, and are we executing that before returning?"

Potential hireling: "Medusa??" *twitches* :scared

Small squirrel grappling your shoe: "HRRRRggghhhh.."  :beathorse

WHat is apparently small squirrels father: "Son...Gawdammit..."

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #469 on: July 25, 2011, 07:24:53 PM »
"You don't have a problem with that do you?"
None whatsoever. This is quite an amazing creation, I must say. Bill walks up to the ... "thing" is the best word he can think of and taps it slightly.

As it is now wearing the ring it appears to be a slightly dumbass looking hick with blond hair.  A hick who has a squirrel appear from his navel "Thanks.  If it makes you feel better we made it from dead wood.  We use it to walk among the humanoids claiming to be a wood golem."

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #470 on: July 25, 2011, 07:26:34 PM »
"We're not necessarily known for good ideas. What was the plan with the medusa, and are we executing that before returning?"
Half listening, Mustave's head pops up. "Wait. We're killing her now? I kinda liked her."

Skwirls" Awww you should'na kill her, she's jus' lonely.  SHe just wants some kids she can call her own and raise in the family bidness."

Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #471 on: July 25, 2011, 07:47:08 PM »
"We're not necessarily known for good ideas. What was the plan with the medusa, and are we executing that before returning?"
Half listening, Mustave's head pops up. "Wait. We're killing her now? I kinda liked her."

Skwirls" Awww you should'na kill her, she's jus' lonely.  SHe just wants some kids she can call her own and raise in the family bidness."
".... Executing the plan..... as in...... forget it, we'll get her laid...."

At the small squirrel, and the father, "I'm really starting to contemplate what a whole regiment of squirrel samurai could do.... if only wecould train a handful of them..."

Monotremeancer

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #472 on: July 25, 2011, 09:03:06 PM »
"You don't have a problem with that do you?"
None whatsoever. This is quite an amazing creation, I must say. Bill walks up to the ... "thing" is the best word he can think of and taps it slightly.

As it is now wearing the ring it appears to be a slightly dumbass looking hick with blond hair.  A hick who has a squirrel appear from his navel "Thanks.  If it makes you feel better we made it from dead wood.  We use it to walk among the humanoids claiming to be a wood golem."
Bill holds his ring towards the squirrel at the navel Do you want one as well?
Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?

Sir Shadow

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #473 on: July 25, 2011, 11:44:40 PM »
"You know... if there are any squirrels with magical aptitude, we could get the into the magic school..."

konner09

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #474 on: July 27, 2011, 07:15:33 AM »
To the Squireels

"I'm  a awakened living spell. Pretty cool huh?"

"What kind of spell?  You ain't no curse are ya?"
" Nothing so cool, just a spell of cure light wounds"
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

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RobbyPants

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #475 on: July 27, 2011, 10:33:03 AM »
".... Executing the plan..... as in...... forget it, we'll get her laid...."
"My god, you talk weird. Maybe I should start paying more attention rather than haggling over the cost of magic weasels."
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #476 on: July 27, 2011, 06:24:21 PM »
"We're not necessarily known for good ideas. What was the plan with the medusa, and are we executing that before returning?"
Half listening, Mustave's head pops up. "Wait. We're killing her now? I kinda liked her."

Skwirls" Awww you should'na kill her, she's jus' lonely.  SHe just wants some kids she can call her own and raise in the family bidness."
".... Executing the plan..... as in...... forget it, we'll get her laid...."

At the small squirrel, and the father, "I'm really starting to contemplate what a whole regiment of squirrel samurai could do.... if only wecould train a handful of them..."

"Many of us have always wanted to kill something with a bigass sword..."

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #477 on: July 27, 2011, 06:25:02 PM »
"You don't have a problem with that do you?"
None whatsoever. This is quite an amazing creation, I must say. Bill walks up to the ... "thing" is the best word he can think of and taps it slightly.

As it is now wearing the ring it appears to be a slightly dumbass looking hick with blond hair.  A hick who has a squirrel appear from his navel "Thanks.  If it makes you feel better we made it from dead wood.  We use it to walk among the humanoids claiming to be a wood golem."
Bill holds his ring towards the squirrel at the navel Do you want one as well?

"Ooooh shiny!! Gimme gimme!!"

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #478 on: July 27, 2011, 06:25:39 PM »
"You know... if there are any squirrels with magical aptitude, we could get the into the magic school..."


"We're not the studious type, we're more feisty."

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #479 on: July 27, 2011, 06:26:05 PM »
To the Squireels

"I'm  a awakened living spell. Pretty cool huh?"

"What kind of spell?  You ain't no curse are ya?"
" Nothing so cool, just a spell of cure light wounds"

"So if we touch you were healed?"