Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods

[bhu]

Bartholomeow shoots a glare at the audacious individuals and their man-crab. "Do not despair Truffles. I'm sure we shall find much more tasty morsels when we return to the city to purview the decimation of the Mage's Guild."

"Remember that it might be in our better interests to cut off the head and take control of the impressionable talent there, rather than slaughter them wholesale. I might be a killer, but I can see the tactical advantages in some trained pawns, no matter how lowly. They're still better trained than the average; we could use that.

"Though yes, it might be useful to... assist the medusa before we leave. What's the news from above, Ceus?"

Seeing the little squirrel challenge him, he finds himself incredibly amused. Crouching to see him eye to eye, he smiles and says, "With an attitude like that, I'm sure you could overcome me easily. I wish I had more readily strong agents like you around..." A lightbulb flashes in his head, which he found odd considering lightbulbs didn't yet exist in his realm. He stored the note away with the rest.

"LET'S WRASSLE!!!"

He grabs your foot and strains to absolutely no effect whatsover.

[bhu]

Robby: "You interested in a +3 Ferret?"

"Um... what's it do? Just the normal ferret stuff, but better? I knew a guy who was into that, but it's not my cup of tea. Thanks."

"Whaddaya mean what's it do?  It kills stuff.  It can even track down stuff for food and/or killing.  What more do you want in a weapon?"

[bhu]

"Though yes, it might be useful to... assist the medusa before we leave. What's the news from above, Ceusic?"

[spoiler]Your mixing the names of Ceusharath and Cusic.  

Also, please note that Italics indicate telepathic communication[/spoiler]

"Lycan's are killing of the rest of the Mages, Benny got a bunch of them already.

Also, I seem to remember Teo having a plan for the medusa. "

Now that guy needing a job should be somewhere here. Say Ceus, rather loudly, hoping his potential assistant will here him.

"I'm looking for an evil minion position, what do you pay?  There's a ghost critter who may be your competition though."

[jojolagger]

Now that guy needing a job should be somewhere here. Say Ceus, rather loudly, hoping his potential assistant will here him.

"I'm looking for an evil minion position, what do you pay?  There's a ghost critter who may be your competition though."

 
"I doubt you'll be seeing him anytime soon. What Would you say is a fair wage?"
Manifesting Detect thoughts. DC 16 or I read his mind.
Further, Sense motive, taking ten and using inqusitor for a total of 34.

[RobbyPants]

"Whaddaya mean what's it do?  It kills stuff.  It can even track down stuff for food and/or killing.  What more do you want in a weapon?"

"Does it understand common, or does it just kinda do it's own thing? How much you want for it?"

[bhu]

"It understand s common at the least.  seeing as it's used we'll give you a discount at 15,000 GP."

[bhu]

Now that guy needing a job should be somewhere here. Say Ceus, rather loudly, hoping his potential assistant will here him.

"I'm looking for an evil minion position, what do you pay?  There's a ghost critter who may be your competition though."

 
"I doubt you'll be seeing him anytime soon. What Would you say is a fair wage?"
Manifesting Detect thoughts. DC 16 or I read his mind.
Further, Sense motive, taking ten and using inqusitor for a total of 34.

[spoiler]"Why the standard fees set by the Guild of Evil Minions of course."

He's not fibbing

His thoughts: "I hope this one doesn't try using me as cannon fodder or spell components or butt raping me in the night.  It's getting harder to murder Evil masters and make it look like an accident.  Too bad there isn't a Guild for good minions.  Working out servant contracts with good guys on your own is such a pain."[/spoiler]

[jojolagger]

"I've only been around a few days, what are the standard wages?"
(his mind is still being read, and He only got 1 save )

[bhu]

"I've only been around a few days, what are the standard wages?"
(his mind is still being read, and He only got 1 save )

"This is the standard contract."  He pulls a 200 page document from his backpack.

[RobbyPants]

"It understand s common at the least.  seeing as it's used we'll give you a discount at 15,000 GP."

"Hmmm... I don't have that kind of money. Oh well."

[jojolagger]

"This is the standard contract."  He pulls a 200 page document from his backpack.

"I think I can see why you're having trouble getting a job."

[bhu]

"It understand s common at the least.  seeing as it's used we'll give you a discount at 15,000 GP."

"Hmmm... I don't have that kind of money. Oh well."

"Give us a price range brother and we'll find you something!" 

[bhu]

"This is the standard contract."  He pulls a 200 page document from his backpack.

"I think I can see why you're having trouble getting a job."

"Yeah Guild rules are a bitch.  If you don't wanna go through them I spose I can freelance.  We can always have a lawyer up top write something up since you guys are a Guild."

[bhu]

To the Squireels

"I'm  a awakened living spell. Pretty cool huh?"

"What kind of spell?  You ain't no curse are ya?"

[bhu]

Alcy points at the points of her ears. "Do these look human to you?" She thinks for a moment, and says, "Nevermind, they probably do. No matter. For your information, I am not human. Best you ask one for the answer to your question."

"Holy shit you are huge for an elf."

[Sir Shadow]

"Hmph... an individual's height is often used as a measure of their strength, but I think otherwise..."

[VennDygrem]

Alcy looks down at the creature and responds, "Actually, I am not an elf, either. Their eyes sometimes have colors uncommon to other humanoids, but they typically only have one color. My kind's eyes are more... opalescent." She moves her head a bit to show how the colors shift.

Responding to Bartholomew's comments, she says, "In that, I agree. One's height has nothing to do with their strength. It might give someone better leverage, but it is one's inner self that provides true strength... though muscles certainly help. Regardless, I have seen plenty of power coming from small packages, no less from those around me now."

The ghaele eladrin turns to face the rest of the group. "Have we resolved everything here? Should we return?"

[Nanshork]

Kintal pipes up, "That's right, size isn't everything!"

[jojolagger]

"Yeah Guild rules are a bitch.  If you don't wanna go through them I spose I can freelance.  We can always have a lawyer up top write something up since you guys are a Guild."

"Or we could wing it and say you do menial tasks for me in exchange for a certain amount of pay."

[bhu]

"Yeah Guild rules are a bitch.  If you don't wanna go through them I spose I can freelance.  We can always have a lawyer up top write something up since you guys are a Guild."

"Or we could wing it and say you do menial tasks for me in exchange for a certain amount of pay."

"Depends on the menial tasks and what they involve.  I'd prefer not to clean up after sacrificial murders if you're into that sort of thing.  Too much disease risk.  If you need to head upstairs I'll go on the plane with you, we can discuss it along the way."


Sprinting across the open field towards you from the forest appears to be a wooden automaton dressed in patched up shabby clothes.


"GREETINGS KINTAL!  THE OFFICIAL..."   "Goddammit guys turn down the speaker system..."  "The official representative of the Squirrel Warrens is ready to accompany you.  Pretend I am a normal human like any other."

The face pops open and a squirrel apparently driving the automaton gives you a thumbs up before it closes again.