Author Topic: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods  (Read 131392 times)

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konner09

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #300 on: April 23, 2011, 11:58:00 PM »
"i might even convert"
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. - edgar allen poe

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #301 on: April 25, 2011, 05:04:49 AM »
The world shimmers and you find yourself in what appears to be a well-kept farmhouse smelling strongly of tobacco.   Those iof you outside see fields of tobacco doing nicely under a warm sun.  A door opens and a skinny old bearded man wearing a bathrobe walks in.

"Sorry for the sudden snatching, I wanted to talk where fewer beings could overhear or interrupt.  Can I offer anyone a cigar.?"

At that moment there is a loud yowling and scratching at the door.  Th old man rolls his eyes, sighs heavily, and opens it to a large black cat with little dragon wings.  It looks at him angrily and says:

"You have one of my people Benny.  Not cool.  You know the rules"

"Look I don't intend her any harm.  Some fool wizard and his allies decided to try a bid for power and accidentally set off a few prophecies using a weapon I thought I'd turned off long ago.  I can't intervene, and I can't afford for my own clergy to know about this so I need outside help before Natasha ends up destroying everything."

"Fine.  But if she gets hurt, it's your ass.  And I want her returned to me immediately when you're done here.  Immediately Benny.  Don't fuck with me.  You know better."

The cat saunters off, and Benny shuts the door exhaling in relief.

"Now that that's over, I believe I promised you some cigars.  Maybe a glass of port?  Roast pig?  Hooker?"


RobbyPants

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #302 on: April 25, 2011, 09:59:12 AM »
"Now that that's over, I believe I promised you some cigars.  Maybe a glass of port?  Roast pig?  Hooker?"
"All of the above?  Sure!"
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Radmelon

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #303 on: April 25, 2011, 02:07:20 PM »
"I would like a glass of... port you say?"
[spoiler]Drunken frawg alert!

Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #304 on: April 25, 2011, 04:29:33 PM »
"Port? I'm not familiar with it, but in your House, Benny, I will gladly experiment." He actually just wanted to get the business done with, so that he could get out of his ridiculous disguise. Granted, the subtlety of their appearance had primarily gone to hell, but the damned image remained.

"As for business, what task did you have in mind for us to start with? Obviously dealing with the guild, but it seems like this Natasha is going to be a bit of a problem. Are we meant to prevent her coming, or stop her when she gets here? Though I know little of gods, my guess from previous displays is that stopping one might be beyond us."

konner09

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #305 on: April 25, 2011, 08:04:26 PM »
"Nothing for me thank you. What benefits would i gain from converting to your religion? might i ask"
Honestly considering to convert
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. - edgar allen poe

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #306 on: April 25, 2011, 09:55:46 PM »
There is a loud hammering on the door:

[size=12]"DAMMIT BENNY YOU OPEN THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' DOOR AND GIMME BACK MAH PRIEST!"[/size]


Benny sighs again.  "That'll be Scooby."

He opens the door.  "I'm just having a chat with him Scooby. Relax all is well."

Scooby glares at Konner


[size=12]"YOU BEST KEEP IN MIND WHOSE LOOKED AFTER YOU ALL THESE YEARS BOY!  YOU SWITCH TO HIM YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN."pt][/size]

Scooby stomps off in a huff.

"Ahem...now where were we..ah yes 9claps hands)."

Servants bring in trays of food and drink and fine tobacco.  A pair stop to snuggle Robby and begin smooching him.

"Now before any more deities intervene..."

It sounds like someone is kicking the door

"Dammit!"
« Last Edit: April 26, 2011, 04:33:52 AM by bhu »

VennDygrem

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #307 on: April 26, 2011, 12:01:13 AM »
"It sounds like it's lucky that I haven't pledged myself to any of the deities of this realm..."

Littha

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #308 on: April 26, 2011, 01:25:04 AM »
"Can I have some Port?"
Cusic glances around the room hesitantly
"Please?"

Nanshork

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #309 on: April 26, 2011, 02:19:16 AM »
Kintal looks like he is pondering.  "What benefits are there to coming into your service?"
« Last Edit: April 26, 2011, 05:56:06 AM by Nanshork »
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Flay Crimsonwind

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #310 on: April 26, 2011, 04:08:28 AM »
"It sounds lucky I've not pledged myself to any deity, so far...

Though I suppose I pledged myself to my Lord. Then again, he's dead and I wont exactly be welcomed back, so..."

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #311 on: April 26, 2011, 04:35:30 AM »
"Can I have some Port?"
Cusic glances around the room hesitantly
"Please?"

A serving wench changes to a serving boy and hands you a glass.  "Would you like some nice roast pork?"

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #312 on: April 26, 2011, 04:50:03 AM »
Kintal looks like he is pondering.  "What benefits are there to coming into your service?"

"Let me just answer this one last time..."

At the door is a pissed off looking male Drow pretty boy.

"The Mistress is upset with you Benny.  She knows you have a Ghost and a Necromancer here.  You know how she disapproves."

"I was under the impression this particular realm was still my own and I was allow to invite whoever I damn well pleased.  Tell your Mistress the ghost was brought here recently by the Man in Charge, along with the Necromancer, and if she's pissed about it she can take it up with him.  They haven't broken rules yet and neither have I, and no you can't take them.  So fuck off before I bend you over the hedge rows."

Benny slams the door.  He hesitates several moments to make sure no one else knocks, and nods to the servants "Make sure everyone has whatever they need."

"Now at the risk of inviting someone else to interrupt, where were we?  I believe the young cat asked about benefits.  Well, there aren't many.  I need to be up front about that.  The Creator of this realm set down some rules.  I can give you some gifts now in exchange for your becoming my agents, but I can't be your personal deus ex machina.  If another Deity personally interferes, I'm allowed to do so as well.  If one of their agents interferes, you're expected to deal with them on your own.   So most of the benefits come up front.  But you'll have to put up with scheming Gawds interfering n your lives for years.  They've already seen you here so some of them will be doing that anyway.  But that being said, initially I can do quite a few things.  Items, knowledge, perhaps some personal enhancements, Familiar or Minion Contracts, etc."

Monotremeancer

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #313 on: April 26, 2011, 06:22:31 AM »
Slightly confused at all this commotionBill looks at one of the serving wenches May I have some pork as well? and then turn to the door and leans his head slightly, How many more of you are there just outside?
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konner09

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #314 on: April 26, 2011, 02:49:47 PM »
"Holy SHIT!.... first time i ever saw scooby.. I feel like a douche now"
Joseph says slumping down
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. - edgar allen poe

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #315 on: April 26, 2011, 09:28:23 PM »
"Holy SHIT!.... first time i ever saw scooby.. I feel like a douche now"
Joseph says slumping down

"Don't take it personally kid.   He's always like that.  It might actually make him appreciate you more because we all need as many people as we can get.  I can always help smooth things over."

jojolagger

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #316 on: April 26, 2011, 10:11:13 PM »
Perhaps something to help with my new form? It's very useful, I'll admit, but it isn't exactly easy to avoid shuffling off the mortal coil by force of will alone. Asks Ceusharath, who seems slightly distracted.

[spoiler]Intentionally unspecific here. LA Reduction for ghost would be nice, (If we gain enough xp to reach level 7, and drop 1 LA from ghost, I could just swap out the Template class for the template.)
Maybe some bonus to ghost abilities, maybe some new ghost themed abilities, the evolved template, I don't really need anything specific.
I trust Bhu can devise something interesting.

Also, Readying an action to use my telekinesis, because Ceus can remember that Cusic is a total lightweight, and likely can't handle port.[/spoiler]
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
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In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

Radmelon

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #317 on: April 26, 2011, 11:38:02 PM »
Teo seems a bit drunk completely sloshed, but seems clear enough to get his request across.
"Sometimesh the randomnesh of my talents are a bit too... random. It would be nish if it could be given shum direction."
[spoiler]Like I said, trading in the slaad bloodline for another chaos monk level. I would also like to trade in a few feats. If it's not too much, +1 to str would be appreciated. kthxbai

bhu

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #318 on: April 27, 2011, 12:00:57 AM »
Perhaps something to help with my new form? It's very useful, I'll admit, but it isn't exactly easy to avoid shuffling off the mortal coil by force of will alone. Asks Ceusharath, who seems slightly distracted.

[spoiler]Intentionally unspecific here. LA Reduction for ghost would be nice, (If we gain enough xp to reach level 7, and drop 1 LA from ghost, I could just swap out the Template class for the template.)
Maybe some bonus to ghost abilities, maybe some new ghost themed abilities, the evolved template, I don't really need anything specific.
I trust Bhu can devise something interesting.

Also, Readying an action to use my telekinesis, because Ceus can remember that Cusic is a total lightweight, and likely can't handle port.[/spoiler]

Are you looking for a Resurrection or something else?

VennDygrem

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Re: Campaign Thread IV: Losing Your Virginity is Easier in the Woods
« Reply #319 on: April 27, 2011, 12:23:26 AM »
"Hmm, I had many of my abilities sealed away when I was pulled into this realm originally by the Guy in Charge. Is there any way to unlock any of that?"

[spoiler]Basically I'd like to mix some portions of the SS monster class with those of Oslecamo's. I can PM you what I'm looking for, but I'd like to know what the limit of this all is going to be.[/spoiler]