Intermission: Let's Syndicate!

[VennDygrem]

"That was... extreme... though I can't say I've got much love for so-called 'glitter-lovers' either. Still, there must be some way to disperse the crowd and calm them down without resorting to more violence. Well, minimal violence anyway. The Platinum Dragon wouldn't want me to let this turn into a blood-bath..."

"Is there anyone here in a position of authority? A leader of the protests who can speak for the group?"

[Kuroimaken]

The protesters look between themselves and dozens of people raise their hands. Interestingly, none of them start arguing amongst themselves. It's like they're a hive mind.

[Risada]

"Hey, did you guys tried the government to deal with this? Like, sending a petition and such? I guess it works, and don't disturb the peace..."

[Flay Crimsonwind]

Zane speaks up, though he can't quite tell why. "Who organized this protest? How did you all know to come here? Surely one person, or at best a small circle, must have notified you all, must have visibly organized a movement."

[Kuroimaken]

No one seems to be able to answer coherently how the protest came about. One's best guess is that magicnet told them what to do and they followed. There are a few with a couple of brain cells more than the others whom people seem to listen to, though.

Meanwhile, the mummy side seems to be somewhat annoyed they aren't being addressed at all.

[VennDygrem]

Talon mutters, "Hmm... well this might just take a little finesse."

The dragonborn then amplifies his voice again, saying, "Well, do you know what I saw on the 'Net? I saw that the people who oppose all of you, those evil bastards, those people don't want you to go home peacefully and start a letter-writing campaign! Those people think it might actually work, and they're afraid of that! They're willing to stop at nothing to keep you from going home peacefully, and from starting a letter-writing campaign. Are you willing to let them do that? Are you all going to let them stop you from going home peacefully, and starting a letter-writing campaign? Well, I say NO! Don't let them push you around like that! Don't let them CONTROL you like that! I say, don't listen to them.... Now is the time to go home peacefully and start a letter-writing campaign ANYWAY!"

[spoiler]Not that I expect this to do any good, but here's my bluff check:
1d20(17)+16=33[/spoiler]

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Y-you do realize that these dudes know explosive runes, right?

[Kuroimaken]

[skydragonknight]

"Why do you spend time Rebuking zose who will only Turn you away? Zere are plenty of Dead ecosystems zat no one will bother you in; you can make a new Life there! Don't focus on ze Negative aspects: with a little Energy and Positive thinking, you can achieve your dream!"
Paul says, certain that his words would reverberate in their unbeating hearts exactly as intended.

[Flay Crimsonwind]

Meanwhile, realizing that a group of people with rotting brains are in a group-battle of wits with a bunch of zombies, Zane decides to slip away while everyone's getting their voices in. The job was to mediate between the locals and PETA; Zane figured they might have some luck with the locals, if for nothing more than a change in verbage.

With that in mind, he was off to figure out where the local law was. Surely with such large crowds, especially in a tourism-heavy city where image is everything to the locals, things were going to get interesting fast. ESPECIALLY in a tourism town full of undead-killer love.

[spoiler]Just a joke guys, don't get all offended.  

So DM, (what) should I roll to try and find a group of living people, like a cop/station or city hall or something?[/spoiler]

[Kuroimaken]

[spoiler]Howsabout Profession(Ihaveeyes)? It's a tourist town, there are SIGNS all over the place.

If I were any of you, I'd focus a lot less on rolls. I can assure you that no matter how well any of you roll this mission will only be accomplished by wits and smooth-talking.

Also, it bodes well to remind you all: these are people advocating zombie rights, but most of them are not zombies themselves. After all, zombies can only talk Brains language.[/spoiler]

Paul gets a massive look of contempt when he starts cracking the Turn Undead jokes. For a moment, the entire crowd falls silent... only to become even LOUDER.

The mummies, in the meantime, are totally steaming in their corner. Some of them seem ready to crack the Pharaoh curse implements.

[VennDygrem]

"Hey Mummies! Why so steamed? You have something to say, over there?"

[Kuroimaken]

One of the mummies, clearly looking like a 60's socialite (who may well have lived in similar times) decides to go and speak up. "Yes! We mummies are sick and tired of everyone fawning over zombies in the entertainment business. Before these drooling idiots came around we made entire theaters shake in abject terror at just one of us! Now it's zombie apocalypse this, zombie apocalypse that, zombie preparedness initiative something-or-other! We want the place that is rightfully ours in the entertainment industry! MUMMIES ARE ZOMBIES TOO!!" The mummy crowd enthusiastically roars... like old men and old ladies can.

[VennDygrem]

"But don't you see? It's not your fault or the audience's fault that Mummies aren't the hot property anymore! I think we can all agree that all the blame lies with Fendon Brazer and Sophen Stemmers, the so-called star and director of those horrible Mummy movies a while ago. What you need to do is start an initiative to fund a new, edgier Mummy-based entertainment, and the theater-goers will be eating out of your undead palms!"

[Kuroimaken]

"But don't you see? It's not your fault or the audience's fault that Mummies aren't the hot property anymore! I think we can all agree that all the blame lies with Fendon Brazer and Sophen Stemmers, the so-called star and director of those horrible Mummy movies a while ago. What you need to do is start an initiative to fund a new, edgier Mummy-based entertainment, and the theater-goers will be eating out of your undead palms!"

"Honey, if we could fund the movie ourselves do you think we'd be moaning like these idiots?!"

"Look at me! I have to work a day job at novelty secretaries just to buy bandages every month!!" Cries a particularly distressed mummy.

[VennDygrem]

"Well, if you just want to give up and lie down while the movies focus on other monsters... Maybe I'll just turn my attention back to helping the other, more proactive shambling hordes of undead."

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Sabot thinks he knows a guy might be able to help out.  He pulls out his mobile phone and calls an old friend.
WHAT's HAPPENing?  HOW ARE YOU, GENTLEMAN?
Glad to hear you're still kicking around.  I'm having troubles with some mummies, and I remembered that put mummified CATS at a higher level of the afterlife.  And the first well-preserved one I can think of - IT'S YOU!

[Risada]

"What the loud guy said! Show the world what is a REAL zombie movie!"

[Kuroimaken]

A REALLY old mummy dressed like a geisha with a walking stick whacks Ghiktibur atop the head. "OROKAMONOME!! Movies require MONEY to be made! If the industry doesn't support us at all, we can't make good movies!"

[VennDygrem]

"Clearly you people have never heard of independent filmmaking! A good indie film can get massive support, from a cult-like fan following to an actual film-studio deal. But you guys are just hung up on it all being impossible. If you're just going to whine instead of coming up with solutions, you all ought to just go home to your sarcophagi and bitch there, because I don't want to hear it! That's what's wrong with this generation of undead, they care enough to complain, but once it comes around to doing anything they just want everything to come to them! They're too entitled!"