ToB has really grown on me and I am familiar with it. I'm also liking what I've read on other boards, that the new casters (Beguiler, Warmage, Dread Necro, etc.) are more balanced. They don't have access to all the toys so they are good in their area of focus and less god-like outside of it.
Maybe focus is the solution. Focused melee fighters (Duskblade; Fighter=Warblade, Paladin=Crusader, Rangers & Monks=Swordsage) that have been stepped up and focused casters (Warlock, Beguiler, Warmage, etc.) that have been narrowed, sort of a formalized specialist system.
Sorcerers would get access to almost nothing, then pick a heritage (per Pathfinder) to add their main abilities based on some affiliation (fire, shadow, fey, fiends, celestials, etc).
Rogues sort of self-focus. A frame that let everyone do that could work too.
Feedback?
Not sure what I'd do for clerics, but it seems like Domain spells should be most of your magic rather than an add-on. And spontaneous cure would go, since clerics don't need the help. Wildshape would be an option for Druids, and selecting it would cost you 1 spell per level, permanently.