Brilliant Gameologists Forum

Play Like You Have To! => This Game is Rated M for Mature Audiences Only => Topic started by: Inufandom on August 23, 2011, 06:34:06 PM

Title: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 23, 2011, 06:34:06 PM
So yes, boobs. I understand some campaigns involve the Book of Erotic Fantasy among the books open to the players. Mine does not, thank god. However, that didn't stop my players from accomplishing getting a surprise round.

So, in my campaign they are going through the Dead Throne adventure in Sandstorm, and entering into the King's house. They notice the many guards I stationed in the courtyard area. And while I was being serious, two of my players decided to cook up a scheme. The enemy rolled poorly, and so one was able to sneak along the domed ceiling, and then dropped down into the middle of them. She then proceeded to remove her top, and cried "Party!"  And went running through the enemies flashing her boobs. Running out of the room, the character screamed "We're going streaking!" Needless to say, the PCs got a surprise round for sheer stupidity.

My players don't need the damn BoEF to mess with the DM... :sobbing
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: RobbyPants on August 23, 2011, 09:29:44 PM
Just wait for them to come up with creative uses for the Perform skill. :p
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 24, 2011, 12:08:16 AM
One of my players is a member here. Let's not give them any ideas... 
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: weenog on August 24, 2011, 12:52:50 AM
Clever players.  Easy way to avoid that kind of thing, though, it's not being a pervert.  I don't mean by this that you should smack your players down for involving sexual or silly (or both) content in the game.  What I mean is that it's very abnormal to be sexually interested in a different species.  (This doesn't work so well with humans as they can and do crossbreed with virtually anything up to and including humans, suggesting that humans are the base species and everything they're interfertile with is a subspecies of human, but I digress.)  So, include some NPCs that aren't perverts, sometimes.  It doesn't matter how pretty nor charismatic the elf or halfling or whatever is, the dwarf or hobgoblin or other incompatible race guard who is a sensible and well-adjusted person will respond anywhere from "meh" to "yuck" to mild, non-incapacitating surprise, and do his job.

Just like you might if you saw a baboon displaying its gigantic ass in your direction.  (Assuming, of course, that you frequent a region in which the mere presence of a baboon isn't a shock on its own.)
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: bhu on August 24, 2011, 01:07:41 AM
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 24, 2011, 04:32:16 AM
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

Tottaly going to use that next time... but I'll make it oh so precious.... by having it be an undead that says it lol
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: AtomicKitKat on August 24, 2011, 05:06:52 AM
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 24, 2011, 07:12:55 AM
That's priceless  :lmao
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: RobbyPants on August 24, 2011, 02:24:49 PM
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: InnaBinder on August 24, 2011, 03:57:09 PM
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.
:bigeye Did you just advocate for undead buttsecks, Robby?
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: RobbyPants on August 24, 2011, 05:36:26 PM
:bigeye Did you just advocate for undead buttsecks, Robby?
Only as an option for alleviating unnecessary pain. It almost sounds altruistic if you think about it like that.  :smirk


Oh. I also advocated reptilian buttsecks.  :twitch
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: bhu on August 24, 2011, 07:23:33 PM
Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.
Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.

We developed a taste for chilis it is estimated for several reasons:

The majority of populations heavily enjoying spicy foods are in areas of tropical heat.   Chilis make you sweat, keeping you cooler in such climes.  Also since food preservation s difficult, and your meat may be a little iffy, they come in handy as they have mild antibacterial properties.

Plus bad guy just needs a condom or a strapon.  Problem solved for pitcher.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: InnaBinder on August 24, 2011, 08:01:16 PM
Brilliant Gameologists: The only place where you can find out how to optimize hot-pepper buttsecks.   :lmao
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: SneeR on August 25, 2011, 08:32:11 AM
I once played a character who was selfish in every way. She escaped from the middle of a cult where her friends were trapped with the heavy implication that she would perform sexual favors for them later, as a fellow cultists, of course...
Man, I love Bluff.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: AriasDerros on August 25, 2011, 09:11:02 AM
Hmmm... If humans have to worry about spice, but birds don't, then where do raptorians fall?

Also, I agree with weenog, as in my campaign a character (who was a doppleganger) tried to bluff his way past a guard by telling the guard that there was a bunch of prostitutes at the main guard post. His bluff worked, but the guard wasn't going to risk losing his job, or his wife, for that. Player is having to learn that just because you can make them believe the lie, doesn't mean they care.

However, I think the point was the undead were stunned by the randomness and stupidity of it, and not because of college-boy staring. Just to clarify that the baboon thing is not equivocal, the baboon doesn't fall from the ceiling and scream stuff in english.

Also, if you had wanted to, instead of having the undead be gawking at the stupidity, or start looking for hot-sauce for lube, have them do the gnoll/troll thing. ie. want to eat the human.

....and given the gender involved, I don't mean to eat her in the good way.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: zugschef on August 25, 2011, 12:12:32 PM
The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: RobbyPants on August 25, 2011, 02:19:21 PM
Hmmm... If humans have to worry about spice, but birds don't, then where do raptorians fall?
I'm not sure. The highly scientific Cracked article (http://www.cracked.com/article_19187_the-science-behind-stupidly-hot-peppers-5Bchart5D.html) that I got my information from didn't go into raptorians. It's just lazy of them, really.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: AriasDerros on August 25, 2011, 02:58:20 PM
The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.

absolute, unadulterated win. :clap
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: bhu on August 25, 2011, 08:09:53 PM
I havent had the last 3 peppers on that cracked list...I has a new mission!
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: zugschef on August 26, 2011, 06:57:55 AM
The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.
absolute, unadulterated win. :clap
thanks. i just love that story. :)
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: AriasDerros on August 26, 2011, 11:08:09 AM
http://eeknight.livejournal.com/334981.html?thread=1947525

Go there, lots of posters. Or ctrl + F "boobs"

Surprise Attack, Roll save vs. Boobies.

FTW, in this case.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: zugschef on August 26, 2011, 12:12:05 PM
i ALWAYS fail this save...
at least boobies don't have a gaze attack...
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: RobbyPants on August 26, 2011, 03:25:25 PM
at least boobies don't have a gaze attack...
Or do they?

Range: 30 feet. Will negates. Anyone meeting the gaze of the boobs is fascinated as long as they stay in range.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: AriasDerros on August 26, 2011, 04:18:26 PM
Or until the surprise round is over. Or until the clerics have killed everything.

...hmm. boobs, the newest craze in min-maxing.

Or is this the original min-max?
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: bhu on August 27, 2011, 12:08:07 AM
http://eeknight.livejournal.com/334981.html?thread=1947525

Go there, lots of posters. Or ctrl + F "boobs"

Surprise Attack, Roll save vs. Boobies.

FTW, in this case.

Thanks for that, theres a couple pics i can use for my cat burglar!
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 27, 2011, 03:43:39 PM
at least boobies don't have a gaze attack...
Or do they?

Range: 30 feet. Will negates. Anyone meeting the gaze of the boobs is fascinated as long as they stay in range.
Or if your character is gay. :lmao Everyone else is screwed. Although, they do make great bongos...
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 29, 2011, 10:11:01 PM
How did we get on the subject of hot peppers from boobs?

Update: I made the mistake of also dropping a hat of disguise. So it was used to make a Swedish school girl.  :banghead
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: bhu on August 29, 2011, 10:37:50 PM
How did we get on the subject of hot peppers from boobs?

Update: I made the mistake of also dropping a hat of disguise. So it was used to make a Swedish school girl.  :banghead
Retort with a swedish orc lesbian guard :D
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: weenog on August 29, 2011, 11:03:53 PM
How did we get on the subject of hot peppers from boobs?

Update: I made the mistake of also dropping a hat of disguise. So it was used to make a Swedish school girl.  :banghead
Retort with a swedish orc lesbian guard :D

Alternatively, introduce a true master of disguise and deception, one who's heard of what's been going on and is insulted by the flippant treatment of his/her/its craft.  This entity means to show the offenders what you can really do with identity confusion and unconventional tactics, though whether the rival's aiming for humiliation, annihilation or somewhere in between is up in the air.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Inufandom on August 30, 2011, 12:11:45 AM
Excellent idea... I think I'll do just that.
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: Monotremeancer on September 12, 2011, 01:35:59 PM
If perhaps a bit late...

Out of curiosity, how did you know it was a Swedish school girl? I am a native Swede and I have never seen a school uniform (not intended for intercourse) within our borders. Even the Swedish Wikipedia article about school uniforms (http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoluniform) only features pictures of Japanese and British uniforms.

Retort with a swedish orc lesbian guard :D
This I have seen
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: PhaedrusXY on September 12, 2011, 04:25:12 PM
Retort with a swedish orc lesbian guard :D
This I have seen
I was in a game where the DM had a couple of NPC orc-girls that he RPd as gangsta-chickas/cholas, and had them constantly hitting on the male PCs (the DM was a guy, btw). It was hilarious and somehow reminded me of a skit from The State. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_State_%28TV_series%29)
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: bhu on September 13, 2011, 12:12:46 AM
If perhaps a bit late...

Out of curiosity, how did you know it was a Swedish school girl? I am a native Swede and I have never seen a school uniform (not intended for intercourse) within our borders. Even the Swedish Wikipedia article about school uniforms (http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoluniform) only features pictures of Japanese and British uniforms.

In the states swedish school girls are uniformly stereotyped as blond, long of hair, and bosomy with creamy white skin (or conversely a healthy tan).  The uniform isn't always present in the stereotype but the physical appearance is.  Examples:

http://anneliadolfsson.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/swedish_girls.jpg

http://i23.ebayimg.com/05/i/001/1e/45/166d_35.JPG


I'd post more but they all involve porn :)
Title: Re: Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds
Post by: AriasDerros on September 13, 2011, 10:41:21 AM
If perhaps a bit late...

Out of curiosity, how did you know it was a Swedish school girl? I am a native Swede and I have never seen a school uniform (not intended for intercourse) within our borders.

In the states swedish school girls are uniformly stereotyped as blond, long of hair, and bosomy with creamy white skin (or conversely a healthy tan).  The uniform isn't always present in the stereotype but the physical appearance is. 

Spot on, it was the physical description of blond, long hair, pigtails, red plaid schoolgirl uniform, etc. and the player stated "think swedish schoolgirl."

um, not that I know anyone in that campaign or anything  ;)